WTF Sirs!
by Chaxra-san
Summary: A weird story created specifically for my bestfriend Denkigakuchan! Axel and Chaxra set out to make their own TV show, dragging Zexion along with them, while Demyx and Roxas go with the two moogles, Sab and Ebb to find the stolen sugar! Strong language.
1. Chapter 1

Thingy For Denkigaku!

_By Chaxra-san_

* * *

Behold... a THINGY! (For Denkigaku-chan!) 

This will be VERRRRRRRRY strange. Like a CHAINSAW! Oo

Disclaimer: You know it!

Part One!

-------

Axel: Hi Charxy!

Chaxra: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Axel: ...Charxy!

Chaxra: SHUT UP!

Axel: ...

Chaxra: ...

Axel: ...

Chaxra: ...

Axel: ...Charxy!

Chaxra: Eye twitch

Axel: CHARXYCHARXYCHARXYCHARXYCHAR--

Chaxra: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHH!!!

CHAINSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW!!

Pulls out chainsaw and chases Axel around trying to cut his head off

Saïx: Pulse mark I am TRYING to read a book here...

Xigbar: Good luck getting those two to shut up!

Saïx: Pulse mark x20

Xigbar: ...Yeah.

Runs away screaming for his mommy... or Xaldin, you never know with Xigbar

Saïx: . . .

BERSERK MODE!

Luxord: Bets on how long they last before Xemnas shows up?

Larxene: Gives him 10 munny I say 40 minutes.

Luxord: That's it?

Larxene: You got a problem with it?

Luxord: Err... no, of course not! You think Xemnas will stay away for that long?

Larxene: I think he's fed up with us. Most of the time now, he just ignores us or avoids us completely...

Luxord: Hmm. That's true... You seem to be very knowledgeable, maybe that's cos you're the Queen of Spades--Oops.

Larxene: ...See ya

Luxord: ...She didn't kill me... Relief

_Meanwhile..._

Saïx: I WILL KILL YOU!!

Axel: MADMAN! AND MAD...WOMAN!

Chaxra: ROOOOOOOOOOORWL!!

Hacks off table-leg with chainsaw

Axel: AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! RUN AWAAAAAAAY!!

Demyx: HAH! NOW who's the wimp?!

Xigbar: Baits Saïx out of the library with coffee

Chaxra: THANKYOU, MY FAITHFUL FRIEND!

Axel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Chainsaw-ed!

Chaxra: Come, my schemer, and we shall rise up against the EVIL MONSTROSITY that is Axel!

Zexion: 'Evil monstrosity'? Where did she get that from I wonder...

Chaxra: LE GASP!

Chainsaw magically transforms into... CHAINSWORD! It bE MAGICAL!

Axel: oo;

Chaxra: YOU GONNA BURN, BABY!

Axel: Don't you be stealing my lines! You... LINE THIEF!

Chaxra: ...We could make a TV show out of this.

Axel: Huh?

Chaxra: Y'know, the Axelman vs Line Thief. (Show?!?)

Axel: Oh yea...

Chaxra: My weapon would be the Chainsword...

Axel: Where did you get that thing, anyways?

Chaxra: I... uh, found it... in the... garden.

Marluxia: OOH! Did someone mention the word 'garden'?! FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLO--

Is bound, gagged and thrown into the closet by Xaldin and Malifecent. Wait... MALIFICENT?!

Malificent: It would appear that the author is going crazy after having to type out my name three times in quick succession...

Teh Random Girl: Who0ps, it's you! I totally pwned you in KH1, and I was all, YAH, I totally just kicked your ass, but then you were all, MWAHAHAHA I IS ALL DEMONY THING NOW! And I was all, YOUR NOT A DEMONY...THING. YOU JUST A BIG DRAGGGG-QUEEN!

Malificent: I hope to hell you meant dragon.

Teh Random Girl: Oh I did... n't.

Malificent: ...I am already a woman, so TECHNICALLY I can't be a drag-queen.

Teh Random Girl: OHMYGOSH IT SPEAKS!

Malificent: I was talking to you just befo--

Teh Random Girl: OH NOES! IT HAS MASTERED THE HUMAN LANGUAGE AND HAS COME TO SEEK REVENGE FOR MY PWNING OF IT IN KH1! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Malificent: No I haven't, I came to destroy Sora and--

Teh Random Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WANTS TO EAT ME!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEEEE!!!

Random-man: Malificent's name sounds like... disinfectant...

Teh Random Girl: Whoa, it does... somehow LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO--

DIES!

Malificent: Oh, what the fu--

DIES ALSO!!

Random-man: LAHAHA, SUPERHERO!

DIVES OUT WINDOW THEN... DIES!!! (Can't break with tradition in all)

Luxord: AHHH NOO, THERE ARE CORPSES ALL OVER THE FLOOR!! THE ONE OUTSIDE WAS BROUGHT BACK IN HERE BY THE DUSKS! XEMNAS IS GONNA KILL US!! AND THEN WE'LL BE IN EVEN MORE TROUBLE!!

Lexaeus: ...

Luxord: ARGHHH WE'RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOMED!

Lexaeus: ...

Luxord: ...SPEAK, DAMMIT!

Lexaeus: ...

Luxord: OH, KINGDOM HEARTS, TAKE ME NOOOOW!!

Attempts to commit suicide via paper cuts

Xaldin: That is not going to work, number ten, and I doubt it ever will

Luxord: Oh no, for my cards are extra sharp, in case Sora wins my game. (Or if I find Axel sleep-walking in my room again...)

Xaldin: ...Shit.

Luxord: TEH BLEEDING!

Bleeds on Xemnas's precious white carpet

Xaldin: AHH, NO! DON'T DO THAT!

Lexaeus: You guys should go see Vexen for those wounds, unless anyone has a potion, and I am assuming that none of you remember how to use a cure spell... Either that or you are all too stupid to even think of using one at the moment...

Silence...

Everyone: WTF?!

Lexaeus: Oh... Oops...

Tetsuya Nomura pops up from outside of the window and shoots Lexaeus

Lexaeus: OHHH... SHIIIIIIIT!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chaxra: THE LINEY BAR THING IS TRYING TO EAT ME!!

Zexion: Shut up, Chaxra, it's just the end of the chapter.

Chaxra: Oh.

Zexion: ...You continue. I'm gonna go lie down...

Chaxra: YAY!! Next chapter will have the answers to THOSE--THESE questions!

What happened to Roxas and Demyx?

AND WILL SORA AND RIKU/KAIRI/WHOEVER THE HELL ELSE I CAN THINK OF BE IN IT???

(Eh... I can tell you that now... The answer is... I don't know.)

R&R please!!! PLEASE!!! THINK OF THE MOOGLES!!


	2. Chapter 2 Ichii!

TEH CHAPPIE TWO!?

_By Chaxra-san_

Disclaimer: Do I even have to bother?

* * *

The adventures of Roxas, Demyx ands the moogles! 

_MORNING!! WOOO0OoOO&&#$((#!!!!!_

Roxas: Need.. sugar...

Teleports to Demyx's room

Roxas: Dem... You have the sugar?

Demyx: Sugar... need it...

Roxas: maybe the moogles know where it be...

Demyx: good point

Roxas: Hey, I think I can hear the sounds of Axel being an idiot...

Demyx: I can hear a chainsaw...

Chaxra: From far, far away! IT'S A BLOODY CHAINSWORD!

Roxas: NOWS WE MUST SET OFF IN SEARCH OF THE MOOGLES!!

To make it a lot simpler... they found the moogles in the kitchen...

Roxas: whispers I think... they can't find the sugar... either...

Demyx: whispers Yea...

Moogle 1: What happened to your sugar supplies, kupo?!

Roxas: Can't you just synthesize some sugar?

Moogle 3: Uh... No. It's like alchemy. You can't make gold OR sugar, no matter how hard you try... kupo...

Demyx: If you are moogle no. 1, are you are moogle no. 3, then where is moogle no. 2?

Moogle 1: ...

Moogle 3: ...

Roxas: ...

Demyx: ...Never mind.

Sora!

No, wait... WHAT?!

CHAINSWORD!

...Oh yea.

Random Bug Thing: IT WAS THE MARSHMALLOW-MEN! THEY STOLE ALL OUR SUGAR!!

Roxas: Excuse me, OUR sugar?

Random Bug Thing: Uh... I mean, YOUR sugar...

Flys AWAY!

Moogle 1: My name's Sab! I am a GIRL, kupo!

Roxas & Demyx: Oh.

Moogle 3: I am Ebb! I am a BOY, kupo!

Roxas & Demyx: OKAY! LET'S GET US SOME SUGAR, BOYS! AND GIRL!

Everyone: YAAAAAAAH!!

* * *

R&R please! Next chapter weirdness 


	3. Chapter 3 Ni!

W-T-F Sirs

_By Chaxra-san_

More doom for you!

Disclaimer: sobs

-------

Last chappie:

Roxas, Demyx go searching for the moogles after they can't find any sugar. Upon finding the moogles, they discover that there is no more sugar in the Castle That Never Was! Thus they all set off to recover the stolen sugar...

This chappie: More conflict between Axelman and the Line Thief as the two idiots go to Twilight Town for film equipment! Pointless chase scenes! Unnescesary Monty Python references that aren't even correct! Then the four 'detectives' continue on their hunt for the sugar-thief...

-------

_In the library..._

Chaxra: We SHOULD make a TV show!

Axel: YEAH! That would be totally awesome!

Chaxra: Not to mention we could get a ton of money for it!

Axel: LET'S DO IT!

Zexion: And where exactly are you planning to get the equipment for this?

Axel: Uh...

Chaxra: Come my schemer, Axelman! Let us raid Twilight Town and buy stuff for the show with Zexy's munny!

Zexion: Hey, that's not--

Chaxra: Do you want feeling in your arms?

Zexion: ...Let's go, shall we?!

Axel and Chaxra: YAAAH!!

-------

_In Twilight Town..._

Chaxra: Look! Let's go in that shop!

Axel: YES!!

Zexion: ...

All walk into shop and gather mucha film-y stuff

Axel: GET THAT!

Chaxra: And that one!

Zexion: I am going to broke by the end of this...

All walk up to counter

Random Counter Lady: That will be 100,080 munny, please.

Chaxra and Axel: sweat-drop

Zexion: ...I only have 6,000.

Chaxra: LE GASP!

Axel: TAKE AND IT AND RUN!

Runs away with massive bag of stuff

Random Counter Lady: GET 'EM, BOYS!

Guard-type men with guns leap out from behind shelves and pursue the Nobodies

Zexion: Disappears using his element

Chaxra: YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO DEAD WHEN--NO, _IF_ WE SURVIVE THIS, ZEXIOOOOON!

Axel and Chaxra meet dead-end

Chaxra: QUICK, FIND A WEAPON!

Axel: Points to stick on the ground What about a pointed stick?

Chaxra: A pointed stick?! You think a _pointed stick _is better than a banana as a weapon?!

Axel: nods

Chaxra: Well don't come crying to me when you are attacked by a banana-fiend!

(A/N: Note that is not entirely correct, owing to the fact that I have not watched 'And Now For Something Completely Different' since last year.)

Axel: The hell?!

Chaxra: ...DARN YOU, MONTY PYTHON!

Axel: Now what?!

Chaxra: Um... RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES!

Both run around in circles until a portal appears and Zexion's head sticks out of it

Chaxra: OMYGOSH! ZEXION'S FLOATING HEAD!

Zexion: No, you idiots. Did it not cross your tiny minds to use a PORTAL? Or perhaps your SUMMON WEAPONS?

Axel: Ouch, Zexy!

Chaxra: So cold...

Zexion: Pulse mark

Drags them through portal

-------

_Meanwhile..._

Roxas: Where shall we look first?

Demyx: I dunno... What do you two think?

Sab: Hmm... Well, it's obvious that the sugar was stolen, kupo...

Ebb: nods yep, definitely, kupo...

Demyx: What?! Stolen?!

Roxas: Who would do such a thing?!

Sab: I don't know, kupo...

Ebb: ...But we should carefully investigate and interrogate the inhabitants of this castle until we find the culprit! Kupo!

Demyx: ...Wow.

Roxas: I didn't know that moogles had such sophisticated vocabularies!

Sab: It's to make up for our silly appearances, kupo.

Demyx: That makes sense.

Ebb: Speaking of which, we are going on this hunt on the condition that our pom-poms are not be touched, kupo!

Roxas and Demyx: Yes, of course!

Sab: Then let's go, kupo!

-------

* * *

YAY! Next chapter coming soon! 


End file.
